Moment of Recognition: June 2009

Anger Management

How do you deal with anger? I mean like at times when you are so mad at someone that you can barely think about anything else. When you feel you've been violated and getting "even" consumes your every thought. Today was such a day for me and this is what I found out. God is gracious and merciful to me even in my tantrums. As I stewed in my flesh, my spirit was crying out to the LORD, Lord I don't want to feel this way! I know I am being self absorbed, I know other people should not affect me like this, I know I'm suppose to pray for my enemies, be good to those who persecute me, turn the other cheek, but I'm so mad! Anger turned to depression as I fought with myself to regain some clarity of mind. I turned to the Psalms and couldn't even think of where to start, so I started at the beginning, Psalm 1, Psalm 2, Psalm 3, Psalm 4... It caught my attention, this is what I'm feeling this is my heart right before me in Psalm 4. This is how it reads in the ESV.

Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness!
You have given me relief when I was in distress.
Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!
O men, how long shall my honor be turned into shame?
How long will you love vain words and seek after lies? Selah
But know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself;
the Lord hears when I call to him.
Be angry, and do not sin;
ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah
Offer right sacrifices,
and put your trust in the Lord.
There are many who say, “Who will show us some good?
Lift up the light of your face upon us, O Lord!”
You have put more joy in my heart
than they have when their grain and wine abound.
In peace I will both lie down and sleep;
for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Meditating on this Psalm for few minutes, helped me to calm down and refocus, to put things in perspective. I went to the couch to try and relax and my daughter very sweetly curled up next to me. Having her there beside me, her just wanting to be near me, melted my heart and drained me of the tension and depression. Tomorrow, I will go to the offending party and make peace, it was probably my fault to begin with.

Dim Windows of the Soul

This Life’s dim windows of the Soul
Distorts the Heavens from Pole to Pole
And leads you to Believe a Lie
When you see with, not thro’ the Eye

I like this poem by William Blake although I couldn't really tell you what it means. My best guess is "Seeing is NOT believing". I like taking pictures but I don't kid myself about how deceiving they can be. The lovely picture of the rose bud in the summer rain shower at the top of my blog is really a carefully staged photo, where I meticulously set the flower vase on a sawhorse with the sunlight behind it while my son held the sprinkler and I calculated that a 1/60 f-stop would give just the right motion blur to the "raindrops". Of course with Photoshop, no telling what's real in a photo anymore. True in photos, true in life.

MagicTown in Colorado Springs

There's a little shop in Old Colorado City that houses sculptures by Michael Garmin. We visited it last October (2008). It was interesting to see how they could change the scenery using lights and mirrors. Here's some pictures I was able to get in those tough lighting conditions.

Busy Saturday

It was a busy Saturday for us, Valeta started her repaint the cabinets project with the kids help, Tara had a lemonade stand, and the boys sifted rocks in the front yard. Me, beside mowing the backyard, I tried to finish up sanding and texturing the drywall I replaced from the repiping project.

Tara had a rough start, it was real upsetting to her when she missed some customers, but all in all it was a good couple of hours, she grossed $9.50. Thanks to all my generous neighbors!

Mixing the mud to put in my hopper, it took several tries before I got it the right consistency to work correctly. Thank goodness it is an "orange peel" texture which is easier to match.